So many things I see assigned to people who think they are empathetic, when they are the meres surface of what “empathetic” really means.
“Empaths are tired after socializing and need quiet to recharge.”
Being tired from being in a crowd and needing to recover from that has nothing to do with feeling the emotions of others. It has to do with the fact that you are a person, and socializing is a darned difficult thing that uses up physical and mental energy.
Everyone is tired after a party. Everyone is tired after a long night socializing. Everyone needs to rest in the quiet. You’re not special.
“Oh all those emotions are soooooo hard to cope with.”
What emotions do you think you’ve experienced? Laughter and humor when someone told a joke? You think you’ve experienced the emotions that person did, experience it through them? No, you experienced laughter because you found the joke funny.
You didn’t shed a tear during the sad story because you’re empathetic, but because tears are like yawns. One person does it and those who see it also have the urge to do it. We don’t call it being empathetic when someone yawns after another person has yawned.
In my experience, most everything ascribed to people who think they are empathetic is easily explained away simply by being human and experiencing the human condition. It is explained away by a lack of emotional and mental maturity, recognizing boundaries, and an inability to control one’s self and impulses.
If you want to discuss the draining and exhausting experiencing of the emotions of others, feel the tidal wave of grief, fear, confusion, panic, horror, terror that slapped me the instant I saw the image of an 8 year old girl who died in Manchester. She brought with her everything from everyone in that stadium, brought it to me many thousands of miles away in another country. It happened in a split second and I experienced it all in that split second. Sensations that cannot be unfelt. Thoughts that cannot be unthought. Sounds that cannot be unheard. Bewilderment of the masses.
I feel the sadness of the nursing staff who knows that her unconscious mother does not yet know her daughter is dead.
Be unable to watch even a single minute of news stories about it because you can feel surges in the waves of those same emotions all around you when it comes on the news.
Or look at it in your Facebook feed, because it connects all those same souls who died once more and they return in that instant.
Talk to me when seeing those images connects you to those dead and that night your ceiling is full of orbs floating around and they continually wake you through the night.
“As if a million voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.”
Those who are empathetic really do deal with that.
But you go on talking about how hard it is to have a relationship with a single person and go out with friends.